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nsashaellThe whirlwind of the semester is coming to an end. It feels weirdly sudden. But that’s probably because of the days project.
The days project is something we can only do at times when we have extra days off. We make a list of everyone and then schedule an entire day in front for each person. The first time we did this, it was before we started grad school, and it was a fun experiment. We recorded each person talking about their day and made a video. At the time, there were 21 of us. Because we were only scheduling around family events and various errands, it took about two months to complete.
We learned a lot of important things, like who has an easy time fronting alone rather than cofronting, who likes what activities, who tends to hover near the front when different people are there, etc. We also learned who gets scared to leave the house, how different people like to dress if they can pick, that it’s really really nice to have the freedom to do what you want without other people in your brain suggesting things they want to do instead, and who has what levels of gender dysphoria.
After that initial days project, we used a modified version during breaks. People chose 1/3 day, ½ day, or full day and that cut down the amount of time required. Because most of the system either can’t hold the front for a full day without help and most people just want to work on a project for a few hours, that had worked very well. Everyone was still satisfied. We did that abbreviated days schedule for the next four years during winter and summer breaks. We didn’t bother to record it. We had been documenting our grad school experience through semester check in videos instead.
Then there was the pandemic. During quarantine, breaks and work and school were all kind of mixed together. We also descended into a very traumatized state and only emerged from it after going on an antidepressant. So when the summer semester of 2021 was over, and we only had our dissertation to do this year, we decided another full-on days project would be a good system reset. So this fall, my dissertation team worked on our only major semester task. And 3-4 days per week, we scheduled ourselves and our systemmates for full days of fronting.
It can be very disorienting. When others have full command of the front, and you aren’t really paying attention to their activities, it seems like days completely disappear. It’s not like I can’t find out what happened if I ask or search through our memories, but I’m constantly confronted with this sense of surprise at the date when I come out to work. My team was quite productive, making plenty of progress and keeping up with our goals. And the rest of the time, our system of 38 people each had a full day to decompress, do our hobbies, go places we enjoy and immerse ourselves in the present moment.
On their days, some of our members worked intensely on projects for hours at a time without interruption, while others took the opportunity to read a book, watch tv, or do nothing all day. Newer system members did self-reflection activities and took the time to learn about themselves. The kids enjoyed running amok, coloring, watching their favorite movies, or learning something new. Our hair got cut short, our nails got painted and repainted, we got a ton of exercise from everyone’s hiking and neighborhood walks, and we spent a lot of money on toys from the Japanese gift store. Tons of art projects were done, family members and friends were visited, we went to the science museum and the zoo, and hung out a lot with our dogs.
The project took four months to complete. The resulting accumulation of video clips from everyone totals 2 hours and 40 minutes. We remembered there can be something very healing about just being in the front without needing to worry about others’ desires and plans. It was the reset we all needed. We now feel ready to refocus and finish our degree.
This week was our systemversary, meaning the anniversary of our discovery of plurality. On the week of Thanksgiving, 2011, our friends House of Chimeras sent us the Aestraea’s web glossary of plural terms over a private message on the Daemon Forum. We had reached out to somewhat obnoxiously ask too many questions about plurality and they had graciously begun educating us. When we read terms like “fronting”, “co-con”, etc. for the first time, our brain had jammed. We had known there was more than one person in our brain for a long time. Never once, until that day, had it occurred to us that it might actually be okay to be us.
So here’s to that life-saving conversation and our 10 year systemversary. To my systemmates, I love all you crazy people, and I’m happy to be alive and together.
-Calen
The days project is something we can only do at times when we have extra days off. We make a list of everyone and then schedule an entire day in front for each person. The first time we did this, it was before we started grad school, and it was a fun experiment. We recorded each person talking about their day and made a video. At the time, there were 21 of us. Because we were only scheduling around family events and various errands, it took about two months to complete.
We learned a lot of important things, like who has an easy time fronting alone rather than cofronting, who likes what activities, who tends to hover near the front when different people are there, etc. We also learned who gets scared to leave the house, how different people like to dress if they can pick, that it’s really really nice to have the freedom to do what you want without other people in your brain suggesting things they want to do instead, and who has what levels of gender dysphoria.
After that initial days project, we used a modified version during breaks. People chose 1/3 day, ½ day, or full day and that cut down the amount of time required. Because most of the system either can’t hold the front for a full day without help and most people just want to work on a project for a few hours, that had worked very well. Everyone was still satisfied. We did that abbreviated days schedule for the next four years during winter and summer breaks. We didn’t bother to record it. We had been documenting our grad school experience through semester check in videos instead.
Then there was the pandemic. During quarantine, breaks and work and school were all kind of mixed together. We also descended into a very traumatized state and only emerged from it after going on an antidepressant. So when the summer semester of 2021 was over, and we only had our dissertation to do this year, we decided another full-on days project would be a good system reset. So this fall, my dissertation team worked on our only major semester task. And 3-4 days per week, we scheduled ourselves and our systemmates for full days of fronting.
It can be very disorienting. When others have full command of the front, and you aren’t really paying attention to their activities, it seems like days completely disappear. It’s not like I can’t find out what happened if I ask or search through our memories, but I’m constantly confronted with this sense of surprise at the date when I come out to work. My team was quite productive, making plenty of progress and keeping up with our goals. And the rest of the time, our system of 38 people each had a full day to decompress, do our hobbies, go places we enjoy and immerse ourselves in the present moment.
On their days, some of our members worked intensely on projects for hours at a time without interruption, while others took the opportunity to read a book, watch tv, or do nothing all day. Newer system members did self-reflection activities and took the time to learn about themselves. The kids enjoyed running amok, coloring, watching their favorite movies, or learning something new. Our hair got cut short, our nails got painted and repainted, we got a ton of exercise from everyone’s hiking and neighborhood walks, and we spent a lot of money on toys from the Japanese gift store. Tons of art projects were done, family members and friends were visited, we went to the science museum and the zoo, and hung out a lot with our dogs.
The project took four months to complete. The resulting accumulation of video clips from everyone totals 2 hours and 40 minutes. We remembered there can be something very healing about just being in the front without needing to worry about others’ desires and plans. It was the reset we all needed. We now feel ready to refocus and finish our degree.
This week was our systemversary, meaning the anniversary of our discovery of plurality. On the week of Thanksgiving, 2011, our friends House of Chimeras sent us the Aestraea’s web glossary of plural terms over a private message on the Daemon Forum. We had reached out to somewhat obnoxiously ask too many questions about plurality and they had graciously begun educating us. When we read terms like “fronting”, “co-con”, etc. for the first time, our brain had jammed. We had known there was more than one person in our brain for a long time. Never once, until that day, had it occurred to us that it might actually be okay to be us.
So here’s to that life-saving conversation and our 10 year systemversary. To my systemmates, I love all you crazy people, and I’m happy to be alive and together.
-Calen
