Dreams and Thoughts
Jul. 22nd, 2020 08:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nsashaellA couple of nights ago, we had a marvelous dream. We were at this massive cool old mansion that was full of old stuff- collections, books, artifacts, like a museum. It belonged to one of the conference organizers who are friends of ours. The conference was taking place at this house. Plurals we knew, and some we didn’t, were wandering around everywhere, talking. Groups congregated in the massive kitchen, which had an island stretched all along it where plurals had laptops open. There were window seats and living rooms full of plurals. Simultaneously, everyone was holding an ipad, because some people were communicating through Discord instead of talking out loud. This was completely normal, and some of the conversations were using both modalities at once.
We were having what felt like very important conversations. Systems who needed advice about getting organized were seeking us out. We were trying to help plurals who were newly discovered. At another point, we were talking to plurals who had developed selves-confidence and receiving advice about how to empower ourselves. We had the sense that blind spots we had were being helpfully revealed. We had a conversation with a group of other plural therapists, and exchanged career advice while drinking tea by a window.
The dream was like a deeply satisfying, perfect hug. It summed up last week beautifully. We are still processing the massive amounts of information and the intensity of community feeling. We still have sessions to finish watching, and last year to watch as well. At the same time, we’re having a lot of thoughts about moving forward and what the future could look like.
It’s hard to imagine a time when plurality would be considered okay by the general public, when media representations will no longer feature serial killer alters on the one hand and talk show interviews that pathologize plurality and exploit trauma for shock value on the other. It’s hard to imagine a time when plurals will stop being subjected to harmful treatment by clinicians, guided to repeatedly re-traumatize themselves, get blamed for their therapists’ bad decisions, and suffer as a result of outdated and singlet-centric treatment guidelines. Sometimes the weight of the current state of the community is overwhelming to us- the homelessness, the lack of financial stability, the crises without appropriate support that doesn’t make everything worse. Listening to the stories of plurals and the level of trauma that has been actively caused by people with our career choice- we’re so angry at the things that have happened to people, and there’s no way to undo that, no way to fix it.
We feel a sense of urgency to get our degree so that maybe, just maybe, we can offset the abuses that psychology perpetuates. People are dying, getting re-traumatized, being turned away and left with no help because of being plural every single day. At the same time, what can we possibly do? Even if we spend our entire life training other clinicians to treat plurals with respect, will that make a substantial difference?
This thought haunts us because we are joining a profession that has historically done huge amounts of damage to people like us. At the same time, we believe in the power of psychology to be harnessed for the good of plural people, which many plural people don’t. We know that things we’ve learned can help, if used in the right way. But there’s no roadmap to restructure the way psychology treats plurality. There’s no existing framework for positive plurality that humanizes people in the system and can give plurals their full potential back. We have to make one, and it seems very overwhelming. How do we convince psychology to listen to plural wisdom? In psychology, you can’t just bust in and declare something and be taken seriously in any way. We have a number of ideas on where to start with this, but just thinking about the enormity of the task is overwhelming.
We have years to think on this before our degree is in our hands. We’ll need that time. Meanwhile, we’ll continue to wrestle with belonging to two groups that are at odds, hearing plurals blanket-hate psychologists and watching psychologists destroy plural lives out of disdain and ignorance. And try not to let the hopelessness get to us.
-Niara
We were having what felt like very important conversations. Systems who needed advice about getting organized were seeking us out. We were trying to help plurals who were newly discovered. At another point, we were talking to plurals who had developed selves-confidence and receiving advice about how to empower ourselves. We had the sense that blind spots we had were being helpfully revealed. We had a conversation with a group of other plural therapists, and exchanged career advice while drinking tea by a window.
The dream was like a deeply satisfying, perfect hug. It summed up last week beautifully. We are still processing the massive amounts of information and the intensity of community feeling. We still have sessions to finish watching, and last year to watch as well. At the same time, we’re having a lot of thoughts about moving forward and what the future could look like.
It’s hard to imagine a time when plurality would be considered okay by the general public, when media representations will no longer feature serial killer alters on the one hand and talk show interviews that pathologize plurality and exploit trauma for shock value on the other. It’s hard to imagine a time when plurals will stop being subjected to harmful treatment by clinicians, guided to repeatedly re-traumatize themselves, get blamed for their therapists’ bad decisions, and suffer as a result of outdated and singlet-centric treatment guidelines. Sometimes the weight of the current state of the community is overwhelming to us- the homelessness, the lack of financial stability, the crises without appropriate support that doesn’t make everything worse. Listening to the stories of plurals and the level of trauma that has been actively caused by people with our career choice- we’re so angry at the things that have happened to people, and there’s no way to undo that, no way to fix it.
We feel a sense of urgency to get our degree so that maybe, just maybe, we can offset the abuses that psychology perpetuates. People are dying, getting re-traumatized, being turned away and left with no help because of being plural every single day. At the same time, what can we possibly do? Even if we spend our entire life training other clinicians to treat plurals with respect, will that make a substantial difference?
This thought haunts us because we are joining a profession that has historically done huge amounts of damage to people like us. At the same time, we believe in the power of psychology to be harnessed for the good of plural people, which many plural people don’t. We know that things we’ve learned can help, if used in the right way. But there’s no roadmap to restructure the way psychology treats plurality. There’s no existing framework for positive plurality that humanizes people in the system and can give plurals their full potential back. We have to make one, and it seems very overwhelming. How do we convince psychology to listen to plural wisdom? In psychology, you can’t just bust in and declare something and be taken seriously in any way. We have a number of ideas on where to start with this, but just thinking about the enormity of the task is overwhelming.
We have years to think on this before our degree is in our hands. We’ll need that time. Meanwhile, we’ll continue to wrestle with belonging to two groups that are at odds, hearing plurals blanket-hate psychologists and watching psychologists destroy plural lives out of disdain and ignorance. And try not to let the hopelessness get to us.
-Niara
no subject
Date: 2020-07-22 05:02 pm (UTC)one of our goals is to write articles/books from our own theoretical point of view, even if they aren't blessed by any academic establishment (that path is closed to us; we're too physically disabled and poor to go back to school).
we do believe the psychological establishment is absolutely rotten to the core as an institution, and its purpose is to serve the dictates of capitalism. and at the same time, there are some powerful insights that come out of the field, and that's the kind of stuff we live for. there is no ethical anything under capitalism, and we all just have to make things work the best we can.
renny
no subject
Date: 2020-07-24 01:28 pm (UTC)The good in psychology
Date: 2020-07-23 07:59 pm (UTC)You are making a difference. You are even if you don't see it. Every question you ask, ever comment you make, every insight you have. This is something that has a huge ripple effect that it may be years to see. I really hate that so many people are so down on therapy and psychology. therapy saved my life. Peer support helped, but I needed good trauma therapy and someone to help me come to respect and know my people. I got that from a therapist not another peer. I don't think I could have gotten the healing any other way. So I get so angry when people bad mouth. the whole institute because of some bad and misinformed people. I truly believe that people become therapist because they want to help people. They don't go to make money or to lord over others or whatever .
hang on kids just spilt ice cream all over the library books. cause they put the ice cream down and I came out to write and we forgot it would spill.
I have met so many wonderful people in this field. I truly feel I got so much from my school. I didn't know about all of the tensions until I went into peer counseling. I didn't know the dark history or psychiatry, which many confuse with psychology. One day I hope to get my license and become a supervisor and maybe see some DID clients pro bono on the side.
A huge problem I see in the plural community is that they are so busy going against psychology and therapy that the real quality information that they put out there I can't refer clinicians to because it's too negative toward the entire profession. I was hoping to encourage several of the clinicians I work with to attend specific panels, but after attending, I see that it is just for the plural community and often just for them to vent. Don't get me wrong, I loved the conference it was wonderful and I'll take a lot of that and pass it on to people at work, therapists at work. But I won't have them watch many if any of the panels. You can't change people while attacking them. Granted there is a place for people to vent, there's a place for people to need to get healing outside of therapy. But don't knock all therapists because they have been taught and mis-informed with someone else agenda.
I truly believe that more and more therapist, social workers, clinicians, psychiatrist, you name it are open to working with people to resolve trauma, to supporting plurals in the direction they want to go and how they want their life to be. I have a wonderful psychiatrist who is very supportive, my last therapist of 9 years was amazing!! Some people need a diagnoses, it's healing and validating and lets them know their people are real and their not crazy, sounds oxymoronical but it's not . There is a huge push to welcome peer supporters and peer clinicians etc. in the field, at least in California. People have worked hard to bring these changes. there's a lot of work to go, but please don't give up, we need you (s) in this field. We need you to share stuff you learn and people's stories and your own stories under despise if you need to. That's the only way things will change. I really disagree with the other commenter. Psychology is not rotten to the core, it's got some rotten people. But it's way too hard to become a therapist in this state for someone to go in for self-serving reasons. There's a lot of easier ways. There's a lot of easier ways to make money. The main problem I see is that people don't work on or resolve their own trauma and that comes out in all they do. People get compassion fatigue and vicarious traumatization, they're over worked, under paid and they become bitter. People don't more or less volunteer 3,000 hours of their time to become a therapist unless they care.
All that said, I'm very critical of therapists and social workers and clinicians. I don't stand for shit, I don't buy your excuses, but I do have compassion and I do believe that more people than not are trying to help people and make a difference.
Re: The good in psychology
Date: 2020-07-24 12:07 am (UTC)Thus, "there is no ethical anything under capitalism." But we all have to exist in the system as it is, and try to do the most good and the least evil that we can.
Re: The good in psychology
Date: 2020-07-24 01:47 pm (UTC)Trauma creates black and white thinking, and I think our plural community's collective trauma in response to oppression is a natural vilification of everything having to do with the field. But, as you said, it's not a way to change anything or reach anyone. It's just a normal reactivity, and that's valid. I think PPWC is a good place to vent, given that it's for our community. We have sent our therapist to watch things because it's also valuable for him to actually see how our community feels about psychology as a whole- it's educational for him to experience that toxicity, to really understand what being plural is.
I think what possibly irks us the most is the tendency to lump completely separate fields together. Psychiatry and psychology haven't been the same field for a very long time- we actually tend to dislike each other. Within psychology, you have many branches- school, counseling, clinical, industrial- each with their own points of view and disdain for the other branches. Within the title "therapist" you have everyone on this spectrum, and even two clinical psychologists can use completely opposite theoretical viewpoints. There are toxic and controlling types of therapy that are used, and there are really beneficial, client-centered ones. Then, you add in levels of training- coaching vs. masters vs. PhD vs. PsyD- and generalizations become even more meaningless. Making any blanket statements about therapy or therapists as a whole is therefore completely useless, because who are you talking about? And what are they doing?
Anyway, we really appreciate the supportive words. We hope we make a difference. Maybe it's possible.
-Niara